Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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