i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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