The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
