were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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