Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
