Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
