dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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