yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
