A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
