either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ketchup is God's man juice
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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