You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize