so that wasnt chicken after all
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Houston, we have a blender
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
