dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
