dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize