My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
