she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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