Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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