Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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