i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
