well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
