Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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