Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
