I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize