feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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