you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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