So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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