I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
