i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
