i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
