I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
