she looked like the before picture.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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