Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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