i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
