I like my sex mixed with concussions.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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