3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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