It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
