The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
