i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
