I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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