We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
