she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
