The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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