that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
