I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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