This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
