yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
