It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize