I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize