you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
