What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
