every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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