Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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