Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
