Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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