i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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