My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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