I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
