I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize