If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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