im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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